Greetings everybody! So today I want to talk about saying yes… There are so many times when the easiest thing is to say no, or to say ‘I will do it / think about this later’ and you end up postponing the important things that could change your life because it takes time or effort or you may be a little scared of the process. This happens to me a lot, and every time I think back to the things I haven’t done, I’m always really sorry and disappointed. Weather it’s the right answer to going out and meeting a friend (sometimes, when I am down and know, that only a little company could cheer me up, it even takes effort to say yes to it. Even when I full well know it will be for the best!) or weather it’s making the decision to take that unpaid internship or not… Try saying yes!
I have said no or “maybe later” so many times in my life, nearly always, just because I’m afraid of what others might think of me. I have never gone onto a playground zip-line until I was 21!!!!! Because I was afraid of jumping up on the seat in-case I fall and get laughed at. That’s right! I’m not afraid of falling itself, I’m afraid of what other people might think of it… And rather than going on the line and having SO much fun because it’s basically like flying, I’d stand on the side awkwardly, praying my friends would get sick of the fun soon, so I can get the hell out of there, back to my comfort zone.
You may think, that’s the silliest thing in the world, but that’s just how my brain works and even if I can help one person in the world by admitting you’re not alone, that will make me happy.
But in the past few years, ever since I went to and finished college, something shifted and things slowly started changing. I feel like I have started to walk towards the direction of a happy path, the path where people are carefree and don’t tug at their sweaters for comfort and where people do stuff for themselves, not for others’ enjoyment. I have always admired those kind of people, they seem to be so happy, and why wouldn’t they be when they don’t give a damn about what other people say?
I think other’s opinion can be one of the most discouraging, destroying thing in the world, if you take it personally.
But deep down I think most of you know, and so do I, that opinions don’t matter that much! So what if that person thinks you suck or thinks you shouldn’t quit your job? In the end, it is not their lives and they have no idea the path that you walk on. Some people say “it is not your business what others think of you” and that is true to an extent. It isn’t my business, as long as they keep it to themselves and don’t shout it around to the world… Right? Otherwise, nobody should loudly judge / form unwanted opinions about others just for the sake of doing something. It’s very disrespectful. So you have to keep this in your mind, you have to make it none of your business.
Also, here is a secret I have discovered lately… Most people don’t even give a damn! I used to spend my life obsessing over “who was looking at me on the street” or anywhere I went, and I constantly kept fixing myself or my clothes to cover unwanted body parts or a bad hair day or chipped nails or my accent, etc… (This makes me sound like I’m a troll, but I’m not I promise ha ha!)
Nobody notices, nobody! Only you do, but do you know what people do notice? Your fidgeting! I do often notice this myself, and you will too if you pay attention. I recognize it, because I’m so familiar with it. Nervous stares, the fixing of clothes, the slightly awkward stance… When you aren’t comfortable in your own skin, it radiates off you. Everybody notices. So if you aren’t comfortable in your own skin, or something about it, and you don’t want others to notice… Rethink your attitude. It is probably a thing YOU wouldn’t like to look at, not other people. Do you feel the need to change it, do you have the opportunity to change it, (like a flabby stomach) FOR YOURSELF? Than do so!
Is it a thing that you can not change, (like the shape of your nose or your thin hair) but still hate it about yourself? You probably need an attitude change! You are beautiful, and unique, no matter what you have on your body. Weather it’s a slightly shorter leg or a large mouth… or small eyes and crazy hair. So-what? That is you, and the only thing you can do is love yourself. You can kick and scream and throw a fit, you can even throw all the makeup on in the world, it ain’t gonna change a thing! The only thing that can change anything, is love and acceptance. No matter HOW cringe-worthy that sounds. If you don’t love yourself, your body won’t love you, and nobody else will either. And why wouldn’t you love yourself? If you’re lucky, you are healthy, have 2 legs and arms and ears, you have some kind of hair, a perfectly proportionate face… Lucky you!
You know those people who SHINE with happiness and always radiate? They aren’t necessarily supermodel’s! They can be chubby or fat, or short and skinny or tall and gangly, or only have half their face. They’re still the most beautiful people you see, because they love themselves no matter what, and this makes them happy from the inside. And that’s the type of happiness that’s permanent.
I’m not saying I prance around laughing with joy 24/7, I have my dark moments, quite a lot. But I am not afraid to go up to people anymore to introduce myself or say hi. I’m also not afraid to sit by myself and have lunch, or read a book on a bench and don’t pretend I’m waiting for somebody. I’m comfortable in my own skin, and I like my own company. Whoever doesn’t, can go and talk to somebody else. It’s not even a problem, I’m sure you don’t like a LOT of people, and you’re allowed to dislike others. And therefore, you are allowed to be disliked too, just don’t take it personally. There are plenty of people on the planet and in your life that love you!
I’m not saying start saying yes to everything that comes in your path. Be reasonable. If something just isn’t your thing than you don’t have to do it just because everybody else wants you to. But if you feel that tingling feeling I often do, the one where you go “I would ABSOLUTELY do this if everybody shut their eyes now and didn’t look” than ABSOLUTELY go and do it! You will most likely not fall, not look weird or silly, and you will enjoy it so much!
Life is too short, why wouldn’t you spend it doing things you love doing? You can chose to be scared and miserable about it and go to bed thinking you absolutely fail at life, or you can take all the courage you have in you and sit on the plane. Or the zip-line, or quit that job you so hate. Because, whats gonna happen if you do take a chance? It’s most likely that you won’t drop dead. Every decision you make is changing your life, weather it’s good or bad. You know you want to do it, and you’re the only person in the whole world stopping you. Try it, see if you like it. Take that job, wear that dress, say yes to going out with that forever lost friend. You never know what might happen. But you do know what will happen if you say no: nothing.
It always takes time and a few slaps from life to figure these things out. Consider this post yours.
I make it my mission to try do one thing a day that scares me. Now, this doesn’t mean I do extreme stuff every day! I might just take a different route to work, or do a different kind of body exercise in the gym. Or go to lunch with somebody I don’t even know, or answer a call I don’t want to. Tick off a dreaded chore off your to-do list. I often realize they weren’t half as bad as I had imagined they would be and I feel great after doing them!
There are a lot of mundane things I’m still afraid to do in case people laugh at me. But I do make a conscious effort at changing this, and it feels right.
Any tips at how to rock a cartwheel for the first time in your life?? The last time I tried, I chickened out and nearly cried at my lack of success! Aaah!
Do you ever feel like I do? Have you ever tried saying yes to something you normally would say no to? Let me know in the comments!
Here is a picture of me over the summer, where a tour guide has called me up to assist him in a little quest. I was terrified, this would involve the WHOLE tour looking at me, even though I didn’t really have to do anything special. However I said yeah, as I was with my best friend, who I only get to see once a year, if we’re lucky. It was a special day, we went on this tour together and i knew I’d regret it and would feel bad afterwards if I said no. So I said yes, and even though everybody was looking at me, me and Julia had SO much fun and laughed all the way home. It was silly and unexpected and it was really great. I’m glad I said yes.